Why this blog

Why this blog?! 

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Good question. 

I just felt the urge to start a blog about caring. In English too. I already write on a similar one in my mother tongue. 

I have some ideas that might help carers do their job properly or better and some viewpoints that could open the eyes of the families of someone who needs care.
You see, carers, especially immigrants carers, are treated like machines.
A lot is expected from them, like respect and consideration, and little is given back to them.

How can one always treat people (or animals) right? 

Every time you wish to say things or do something to someone, ask yourself if you would like those things to be done or said to you.
That's what I do. 

Treat others as you would like others to treat you. 

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Before moving on, there is a need to clarify that – in this instance – I am not speaking about myself. 

I was incredibly lucky until now. Both the ‘client’ and the family treated me with the utmost respect, for which I am truly grateful. 

***

It breaks my heart when I read or hear stories of exploitation and mistreatment of my fellow carers. Many carers are taken advantage of. A lot more than we know. 

Who cares for the carers? 

This blog won’t focus on this, but, I will, occasionally, write about it. 

It might not help anyone, but I will do my best to raise awareness of this situation, often ignored by society. 

I repeat, I am dealing with amazing people daily. During this pandemic, it was a true blessing. I couldn't be luckier. 


On the other hand, unfortunately, sometimes, carers are those who mistreat the vulnerable people. 
And this scenario is a lot more tragic, as the weak, ill and elderly can’t defend themselves. Often, they don’t know what’s going on. It is monstrous to ill-treat vulnerable people. It is evil!

I do not know a carer who does that, but I heard stories. Horror stories. 

I wish nobody was ever harmed in any way. But we live in a very bizarre  (to say the least) world and humans can be appallingly cruel with one another. 

Carers who molest the people they are supposed to care for should be fired on spot, prosecuted and, if found guilty, severely punished. No pardon given. 

There is no excuse for abuse. None! It is inhuman.  

My favourite punishment would be for the offenders to care for others for a long time – possibly until they learn how to care – and get no retribution at all. 

This profession is like no other. 
It is hard, it is frustrating, it is challenging, it is both mentally and physically demanding, it is solitary – if you can handle it – and I can’t blame you – please, give up. Do it for you and your family, but mostly, do it for those who need proper care. 

There are so, so many jobs out there that don’t require so much mental strength, go for a factory role. It’s a shortage of jobs now, and I am sorry. 

Caring should be a calling – and not a job of necessity. One needs to feel the need to be a carer.  

Not everyone can be a carer who cares. Like not every human can be a catholic priest, a nun or a monk. These are vocations, not jobs. 

Carers should care. Not just assist, but care. It’s in the name. Caring is an absolute prerequisite. 

BUT, there is a big BUT, don't take the caring home with you. It will ruin your life. 

Care for the person you are paid for or supposed to, on the job, care with all your heart, body and soul, but once your shift, week, or month gets to an end, free your mind. Forget about what happened on the job. 

Breathe! And live your life. You must! 

This role, as I said, it's demanding, but trust me when I tell you, there is no better feeling than seeing a person smile because of you. 

The most profound happiness I ever felt in my entire life was when a child drew me in one of his drawings, alongside his grandparents. 

It happened during my waitressing period in a hotel-restaurant in Italy, a place where I so mistreated, abused and bullied, that no human should ever ever be. I wrote a memoir about it: 'Ten years in Italy, three weeks a human'

However, no client or guest ever knew what was hidden behind my smile and professionalism. 

When the child gave me the drawing, I was so overwhelmed that I burst into tears in the middle of the room packed with people.  

There is no better way to start a day than to brighten some other human's day. 

It's bad English, I know. Sorry about that. English is a work in progress. 
Please feel free to correct me, if you deem appropriate. It would be a great help to me. 

Caregiving is a hard job, but when a client smiles because you've done some things easier for them, it's all worth it. All. 

2 elderly people smiling and waiving


Caring companies always say that if you cared for a family member, you are able to do it professionally too. 

I am not sure I agree with that entirely. 

Caring for a family member comes naturally. 

Do you know why? 
Because you love them, you have feelings for them, a degree of affection. 
You CARE for them. 
It pains you dearly when they suffer. You feel the need to make them feel better. 

Caring for a loved one is a different thing. 

Females are more inclined than males to care for others. 
That is a fact. 
It's not a choice, it's in their genes. 
Generally. 
Women care for children - usually unconditionally - for their husbands, their parents and siblings. 
That doesn't mean that there aren't many males out there who are and can be great carers. Not at all. 
I know a few. 

A girl smiling next to her octogenarian mother
My mother and I a few years back.

These being said, if you cared for a family member, you know how to take care of a human (or animal). 
Some people can't care for others, but they can give care. If they choose so. 
Carers who aren't able to care should learn to assist, support and take care to perfection. 
And don't ever forget to:  

Treat others as you would wish to be treated. 

This is my golden rule (and many variants) that I never, never infringe.   

Anyone can be a professional carer if they try hard enough. 
Caregiver, work carer, support worker, caretaker. These are jobs. 
Society, the planet needs more carers. 
It really does. 
There are never enough carers. 
So, if you want to do something that makes the world a better place, please, I beg of you, be a carer! 


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